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"Thy treasures of gold As a child grows in an environment in which his needs and longings for specialness and warm relatedness are consistently frustrated, he begins to turn away from his own needs in depression and shame. We can imagine the young child wondering, What is wrong with me that I get so little response from my mother? The two possible answers are I am too defective and unworthy of love, and there is something wrong with what I am asking for. In both cases, there is something wrong, either with the child himself or with his needs and desires. This experience of unimportance or wrongness is the common relational backdrop for vulnerability and susceptibility to shame. As long as we have an unjust society, like we do now, we will never have a loving society. If you don’t treat people justly, how can you expect them to love you? I firmly believe that there was an ancient language, the language of the melodies that make us all be understood. The melody of ancient times must resound in our souls so that we may have a human life. The ancient melody, the so many times forgotten melody, the melody of love. “Not only are all human systems dysfunctional, they are also outmoded since they were created for a context of insufficiency, separateness and fear. Since the emerging paradigm is about inter-connectivity, love and enough, our social systems need to be radically transformed to be functional and effective.” -Andrew P. Morrison, The Culture of Shame (Northvale, New Jersey:Jason Aronson,Inc. xxxx), 66
-Harry H. Silvis, from "Volunteers" "Children love to be alone because alone is where they know themselves, and where they dream." Beauty lies within the soul I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will. Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows. It is not physical solitude that actually separates one from others; not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation. It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others. How often in a large city, shaking hands with my friends, I have felt the wilderness stretching between us. Both of us were wandering in arid wastes, having lost the springs that nourished us -- or having found them dry. Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.